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Friendships – and why do we hang onto the bad ones?

"Best Friends" sourced from Flickr Creative Commons

Friendships are funny things sometimes. I’m sure we’ve all come across articles in the magazines that tell us it is time to spring clean our friend cupboard. Get rid of the deadwood, the relationships that bring us down or are not really good for us.

I know I’ve read them. And agreed with them, and then discarded any notion of actually following through on their suggestions.  Here is one written for parents who believe their children are having friendship issues – but I think it is relevant to friendships of all ages.

So while I  might have disregarded these articles in the past,  I’ve noticed the older I become, the less tolerant I am of people mistreating me. And this is particularly true of my friends.

I have had more than one light bulb moment in recent times where I have wondered why I am still friends with certain people. Even on occasions with people who have been my friend for a very long time.

Last week one of the chain emails I received was about friendships, and particularly about how some friends come into your life for a purpose. Maybe only for a short time, but for a purpose. And however harsh it may seem, once their purpose has been served, it is time to move on.

Friends have always been a very important part of my life and as an extrovert I literally derive energy from being with them.

Cocktails and fun with my BFF

But what do you do when your so called friends seem to deliberately say or do things to hurt you or put you down? Do you try and over look the pain and tell yourself you are just being hypersensitive?

Or do you decide perhaps the time has finally come to end the friendship. If you decide the time has indeed come to end the relationship– then how?

You can’t apply for a divorce from friends, or ask them to move out of the home. And saying “I think our friendship has passed it’s use-by date” seems a little, well, passé.

I turned to my reliable friend Ms Google to help me out with my dilemma. One short search – ‘friendships that are bad for you’ – came up with 74,100,000 links in 0.10 seconds.

Here is a ‘How-To’ article.  Here is one to help you decide if the friendship is good or bad for you.  And this one is “10 steps to breaking up with a bad friend”.

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” – Pericles

Or as friend once told me, “Friends tell the story of who you are“.

Till next time I hope fun comes you way,

Cheers,

Ali.

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3 responses »

  1. loved this article until the song at the end … is someone liking dionne warwick reason to wipe them from your friend list?

    Reply
    • Alex you are so right – I actually don’t even like the song! What was I thinking – probably should have had the glass of wine before I posted the song rather than after. Anyway I’ve taken your advice, and remembered Maree’s as well – “No Naff endings” and so have deleted the song. And maybe liking Dionne Warwick isn’t quite enough reason to wipe a friend – but you probably wouldn’t invite them to your next raging soiree!

      Reply
  2. Hi Ali- Have been following your blog and really enjoying the posts. Just wanted to leave a comment on this one because I loved it so much! Keep them coming 🙂

    Reply

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